|Color of my iris:||Enormous hazel green|
|Color of my hair:||White|
And their ability to slice and dice and mince words or segue into a counter attack could leave me speechless and defeated. And why do I start with drinking behaviors? For women : no more than 7 standard drinks per week, with no more than 3 of the 7 on any one day. For men: no more than 14 standard drinks per week, with no more than 4 of the 14 on any one day.
A standard drink is defined as: 5 ounces of table wine, 12 ounces of regular beer, 1.
The World Health Organization also offers an anonymous assessment. for the PDF download.
Alcohol abuse is not alcoholism, yet both cause drinking behaviors
The assessment is on 17, and in America, Question 3 should be 4 or more drinks on one occasion for women and 5 or more for men because drink sizes in America are larger than the world average standard drink size. Please note — the AUDIT is deed and intended as a screening tool to be used by a medical practitioner, so for the layperson — it should be considered information only. Not only that, but understanding that alcohol abuse is not alcoholism is an just a couple drinks talking because they BOTH cause drinking behaviors, but they are treated differently.
For the alcoholic, they have the brain disease of addiction and must stop drinking all together for it is the alcohol that triggers their brain disease. Assess Your Risk Factors.
Plan and pick a good time
Drinking behaviors, include:. These kinds of behaviors occur with a variety of drinking patterns, including binge drinking drinking 3 or more standard drinks on an occasion for women and 4 or more for menheavy drinking drinking 8 or more standard drinks a week for women and 15 or more for menalcohol abuse routine binge drinking or heavy social drinkingand alcoholism now understood to be a chronic, often relapsing brain disease. Alcohol is not processed like other foods and liquids through the digestive system. Rather, it is metabolized broken down by enzymes in the liver, and it takes the liver about one hour to get rid of they ethyl alcohol chemicals in one standard drink.
Coping with drinking behaviors causes ongoing activation of the fight-or-flight stress response. And to learn more about secondhand drinking and what you can do about it, check out my short eBook, Secondhand Drinking: A Phenomenon That Affects Millions. Following the suggestions listed above is a great start.
In other words, it can help with a productive come-back. Sometimes knowing what to say to someone with a drinking problem is as much as knowing what NOT to say. Sometimes knowing what just a couple drinks talking say to someone with a drinking problem is as much about knowing what NOT to say.
Although these kinds of statements are totally normal, they generally stem from not understanding that when a person drinks more than their liver can process rid the body ofthe alcohol continues to change brain function, which is why the person behaves the way they do.
Avoid drinking too quickly
Another way to think about it to realize there is no point in trying to make a logical point with someone exhibiting drinking behaviors. His or her brain is not functioning normally, so they cannot process what you say the way a person who is not under the influence of alcohol would. We tend to want to get it ALL out there and then have a solution — an action plan — by the end of the conversation. But with these kinds of conversations, rarely is this possible.
And if they get defensive at any point, remind them you are doing this out of love and concern. According to Medline Plus a service of the U. About 1 in 5 teens are considered problem drinkers. This is just a couple drinks talking updated version of my original post of this title published in If you have further questions, feel free to contact me at lisaf breakingthecycles.
There is no charge. I remember when I was in the thick of it with secondhand drinking and not understanding the science behind alcohol abuse, alcoholism and secondhand drinking — the things I said as I lashed out at all of it — I shudder to recall. Thanks so much for your comment and sharing just a couple drinks talking own experience and how this information would have helped. Great piece, Lisa! Ah yes. I particularly appreciated your inclusion of remembering that a person with the disease of alcoholism is a person first.
Thank you, Beth! Yes it would be wonderful if we could have simple, direct conversations — it tends to get way to heated and then both parties go off on side issues, often getting downright mean. The use of the term secondhand drinking SHD is to help reframe the terms codependency or enabler, as examples. How incredibly nerve wracking to even attempt it! You make some great points here about what to say and what not to say. Another tactic is to leave the room or remove yourself from the intoxicated person, so that you are not interacting with them at all when they are under the influence, even letting them know that you are choosing not be around them when they are abusing alcohol.
Not having dinner waiting is another example of something that a person can do to remind the loved one that they are not willing to support their alcohol abuse. Great post here — thanks!
Thank you, Cathy, and thank you for sharing your other suggestions. Thank you for all of your work in helping raise awareness about how we can better talk to and help a loved one with a substance abuse problem get help. Dang, this is so strong, Lisa.
And tons of resources, as usual. Am I an alcoholic, or what!?
When I was reading the part about alcohol abuser v. Curious inner-dynamic. Your work always makes me think, Lisa. Thanks, and take care… Bill. I always appreciate you stopping by and adding your insights, Bill! Take care. Thank you for this, Lisa.
I would have saved my alcoholic loved ones and me a lot of unpleasant conversations. Publishers, take note of Lisa. Thanks so much for the shout out, Jody! Hi, Lisa. I just wanted to say thank you for this information and guidance. I have been trying to figure out how to talk to a very close family member about his drinking, and I never really know what to say because he gets so defensive and he never lets me get a word in.
Do you think it would be a good idea to write him a letter? I want to be fully informed before I say anything. This information will get my family and I on the right path. Please feel free to contact me via at lisaf BreakingTheCycles.
Great post Lisa! This is an excellent guide on how to tactfully confront someone about the perils of alcoholism in just a couple drinks talking non-confrontational way. Dealing with someone who has an addiction requires a very soft and delicate manner. Often we sabotage our efforts before even getting started on an intervention. Once we successfully treat an addiction then relapse prevention becomes our next hurdle to cross.
What to say to someone with a drinking problem
For a helpful guide to drug relapse prevention plans and other relapse prevention strategies please feel free to navigate the link below for some useful tips. One other determinant on whether or not someone has a drinking problem: do they have blackouts? Those who have blackouts may not fit into those standard boxes, but blackouts are very dangerous. I know some will disagree with me, but those who have alcoholic blackouts and find out what they did only when someone tells them the next day have alcohol problems, and really should stop drinking.
Cold turkey. Hi Orville — new research is explaining that blackouts occur for people who are not alcoholics — heavy binge drinkers, for example, experience them.
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Thanks for your comment! Hi maam. Thank you for reaching out, and I am sorry you are going through this. Generally these calls take about an hour. Send me an to lisaf BreakingTheCycles. The second half of the book explains what happens to family members and friends and what they can do to take back control of their lives. Job lost and so on. This is when he started drinking more and more to the point of dependency. He got a job again and all went okay, until holidays and I was sooo afraid of it. There is no sober time.